Colonel Crunch is a supporting character in the Bread's Crumbs Cinematic Universe, serving as a protagonist and a member of The Clan. He made his debut in Bread's Crumbs, and later returned as a supporting character in Tea-Eee and Bread's Crumbs 2: Electric Boogaloo. Crunch also appeared via archival footage in The Conundrum Dimension, and was indirectly mentioned in The Two Man Trio. He is expected to return in the upcoming fourth film.
Colonel Crunch fought in World War II, and was at one point an adversary of Nazi Mitch. Both were genetically-modified so that they wouldn't show age or feel older. Many years later, Crunch became a member of The Clan along with his trusted ally, Corporal Crunch. Like the other members of The Clan, he dedicated his life to safeguarding ancient artifacts, most notably The Crumbs.
In the first film, Colonel Crunch is summoned by Captain Jumpa after The Crumbs was stolen from the Tomb of the Bacchus. Upon arriving at the scene, Crunch and Jumpa were confronted by Bread Nelson. After Nelson incapacitated John Bacchus, Crunch attacked him as well, but was struck down. A battle would soon break out against Nelson, who used a duplicate version of the artifact, "Fake Crumbs", to poison The Clan. When Jumpa destroyed the Fake Crumbs, The Clan regained its energy and Crunch joined them after the battle.
After the events of the first film, Colonel Crunch and Jumpa go on vacation. As they relax, Crunch encounters a mysterious green-armored being running down the street with tennis rackets. The individual is Dennis Palmer, a citizen possessed by a parasitic alien known as Tea-Eee. Crunch disturbs Tea-Eee, and Jumpa runs over with various weapons. In an attempt to confuse Tea-Eee, Crunch "turns against" Jumpa and has him drop his guns. After he does so, Tea-Eee becomes delusional and starts banging the tennis rackets together. Jumpa gathers his guns and hides while Crunch climbs a pine tree.
Tea-Eee goes after Crunch, who kicks him down and attacks him with a leafblower. Tea-Eee manages to escape, and the two go in pursuit - Jumpa pulls out two pistols and runs down the street, while Crunch rides a RipStik and wields the leafblower. Tea-Eee makes it to a cul-de-sac, where Jumpa and Crunch confront it. Jumpa shoots Tea-Eee multiple times, but this does little to stop it. Crunch uses the leafblower to knock Tea-Eee off Dennis Palmer's head, freeing him from the parasite's possession.
Crunch and Jumpa realize that Palmer was being possessed by an alien, which by that point is scurrying up the street. Crunch and Jumpa go in pursuit, with Jumpa shooting at it repeatedly. Tea-Eee then plays dead, and when Crunch and Jumpa walk over it attacks them. Fortunately, Palmer steps on Tea-Eee, seemingly killing it. Crunch runs up the street with Jumpa and Palmer.
A year later, Crunch meets with Glen Tennis, who holds a meeting with the rest of The Clan. Together, they discuss what happened to The Crumbs. Glen realized that a fake version of the artifact was placed in the Tomb of the Bacchus, and it would poison anyone that tried taking it. Glen states that the real artifact is hidden in Mekron Woods, and he hopes to retrieve it and keep it out of the wrong hands. Glen then asks Crunch what happened with the "alien wig" that he encountered last summer, and Crunch uncertainly explains what went down.
As The Clan further discusses recent events, Crunch remarks that he knew a nazi named Mitch back in the 1940's, during World War II. Shortly after, Biscuit Savage arrives and attacks The Clan - terrified, Crunch flees from the scene, and returns after Biscuit Savage retreats. Unfortunately, Savage killed Glen Tennis, leaving Bacchus in charge of the team. The Clan goes to Mekron Woods to find The Crumbs. Though Flynt claims the artifact, Nazi Mitch steals it, and off-screen he traps Colonel Crunch and Corporal Crunch in the Conundrum Dimension. Mitch pretends to give the artifact to Savage, but instead hands over one of the Fake Crumbs - when Savage consumes it, he is also sent to the Conundrum Dimension.
A portal to the Conundrum Dimension has fallen in the hands of bounty hunter Bjorn Alvarez, who negotiates with Nazi Mitch to give him the portal. Bacchus manages to make an ally of Bjorn and hopes to open the dimension with the portal, yet neither he nor Bjorn know how to do so.
Inside the dimension, Colonel Crunch harasses Biscuit Savage with stupid questions such as "what cereal brand do you eat?". Savage threatens to beat up Crunch, who tells Savage that he's stuck with him and his clone forever, prompting Biscuit Savage to scream in horror.
Sometime after the events of The Conundrum Dimension, Colonel Crunch was freed along with Corporal Crunch and Biscuit Savage. Though Corporal Crunch somehow became involved with the U.B.N.V.A., and Biscuit Savage became an ally of The Clan, it is unknown what Colonel Crunch did during the events of Bread's Crumbs 3: Scrub Slam.
|Bread's Crumbs Cinematic Universe characters|
|Captain Jumpa • John Bacchus • Colonel Crunch • Vin Diesel • Flynt Coal • Glen Tennis • Corporal Crunch • Lord Tyresius • Big Beard • Mahatma • Kick • Reginald Wellington • Sandy Sandler|
|Bread Nelson • Nazi Mitch • Biscuit Savage • Bjorn Alvarez • Jumpa X • Banny Passerini • J-1000 • The Paleman • Axel Gunner • Kaine West|
|Rasputin • Dennis Palmer • Justin Bartisto • Tea-Eee • Kosta Brando • Paxton|